We have all heard the expression "a marriage made in Heaven." But, does such exist? When I was going to get married I thought that marriage was perfect. Is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? Probably not! However, there was, at one time, a marriage that was made in Paradise. We are given the details of the very first wedding. When this took place, there was no sin in the world and everything was perfect. The marriage rate was 100% and the divorce rate was 0%.
Then the fall came and sin entered the world. With sin came all the problems and wretchedness of the curse. With these problems, came trouble at home. One would spend a long time seeking the perfect marriage. Oh, there are many who claim that they "never speak a harsh word." Either they are screaming too loud for the words to be coherent, or they are just plain liars! The truth is, in many cases, marriage resembles a battlefield more than it does a union of 2 lovers.
Consider these facts between 2010 and 2011 there was a five per cent increase in the divorce rate. According to the Judiciary Annual Report 2010-2011, there were 2,857 new divorce cases filed, up from 2,731 in the 2009-2010 law term. When Chief Justice Ivor Archie revealed the statistics at the launch of the new term in September it caused a stir, with many heads of religious organizations and family counsellors speaking publicly on the topic.
However, Central Statistical Office data on divorce available on their Web site show that the steepest increase in the divorce rate since 1986 occurred between 2004 and 2005 when the number of divorces jumped from 1,852 to 2,785. Between 1986 and 2004 the number of divorces fluctuated between 1,074 to 1,852. Between 2005 and 2011 the rate has fluctuated. Ever since the number of devoice rate has increase by 25%.
I want us to look at Genesis 2:18-25
God reveals His intentions concerning marriage and His goals for the married couple. The principles taught here will go a long way in helping to divorce proof our marriages. Let's take a few minutes and look into this text and see for ourselves what makes a marriage made in paradise.
The Lord's Concern. The Garden of Eden was a place of unspeakable beauty and wonder. It was a perfect place where God, man and the animal kingdom enjoyed perfect peace and harmony. It was a good place. In fact, looking back on the Lord's creative efforts in chapter 1of Genesis, it is clear that the Lord thought it was good as well. When God looked at His handiwork, He declared it all good until He looked at Adam and saw that Adam was the only one of his kind. God said, was not good. Man had no counterpart. The word "alone" carries the idea of "being cut of, of being a piece which is isolated from the whole. His decision was to produce a "help" for Adam. This word means, "One who assists another to reach fulfillment." It speaks of the idea of a "completer". The word "meet" refers to one who "is suitable to, or corresponds to." In other words, God is going to give Adam someone who will fill up that which is lacking in his own life. One who makes him complete. This is one of the benefits of marriage. The husband and the wife compliment one another. Men are right brain creatures. We like to analyze things and come to conclusions about stuff. We like to figure it out. I mean just call it like it is and never for one minute try to see any other side of the story. If we are going to look at something from a left brained approach, we have to stop using the right side of the brain and we are left without any reasoning ability whatsoever. Women, on the other hand, have been gifted by God to be able to use both sides of their brains simultaneously. They can see both sides of the coin at the same time. A fact that makes them very helpful in figuring out things, but very frustrating and confusing to live with. If there were only men, there would be little compassion, little understanding and little caring. Women make up that which we too often lack. When they come along with their left brains firing on all cylinders and point out how narrow we are and what we are refusing to see, then, it become clear that they have made us complete and given us an insight that we otherwise would never have had
God's intention in making a woman was to compliment and complete the man. By the way, it still works that way today.
The Lord's Assumption - When the Lord surveyed the situation, His decision was to produce a "help" for Adam. This word means, "One who assists another to reach fulfillment." It speaks of the idea of a "completer". The word "meet" refers to one who "is suitable to, or corresponds to." In other words, God is going to give Adam someone who will fill up that which is lacking in his own life. One who makes him complete.
A Desire Shaped By God - He tells Adam to look at them and to give those names and whatever Adam called them that was the name. Now, God's intention here is far deeper than a mere intellectual exercise. He isn't trying to give Adam's brain a workout. The real goal here is an awakening desire in Adam for companionship.
As Adam saw all these animals pass before him. Surely he must have noticed that every one of them had a mate. It must have dawned on Adam that he was the only creature who seemed to be alone.
That desire that awakens in us that causes us to begin to look on the members of the opposite sex with interest is natural and God given. There is in the heart of mankind a deep seated desire for companionship.
A Desire Satisfied By God - The Lord never awakens a desire that He isn't prepared to fulfil in His own way and in His own time. Our problem is that we have these desires in us and we set about satisfying them on our own, and in our own time. When we do, we have short-circuited the plan of God and are on thin ice. When this desire came to the surface in Adam's life, God set about meeting that need. There were three things involved in providing this help meet for Adam.
- It Involved Sleep - When it came time for God to make a helpmeet for Adam, He caused Adam to go to sleep while He did His work. In other words, Adam was totally uninvolved in the selection process. It, like nearly everything else in life, fell to the sovereign choice of God.
There is a lesson here for those of you who are looking for that future spouse. The best thing you can do is just let that area of your life go to sleep and trust the Lord to bring that person into your life in His time and in His way. But, that isn't what we are told to do. We are told that one must be pro-active, that one must make things happen. You have to go out there and grab hold of the one you choose and use any means in your arsenal to see that they do not go to someone else. What a lack of faith! If God can be trusted to save your soul from Hell, do you not think that He can also be trusted to bring you the mate He wants you to have? May I remind you that the "just are to live by faith," Heb. 2:4.)
- It Involved Surgery - While Adam was asleep, God performed surgery on Adam, opened him up and took out a rib. It was from this rib that God made the woman.
Surgery always involves pain. Often, finding a mate involves pain and even after a mate has been secured and vows have been exchanged, there are still painful times. However, we must learn to trust the Lord during the difficult times and to remember our commitment made to our spouse. We must fight for our marriages. One Christian marriage counselor said, "The only thing that I have ever seen will make a marriage last is that the couple wants to be married to each other more than they want to divorce.
- It Involves Symbolism - Notice where the woman came from. In taking her from the side of man, God was painting a picture that speaks volumes about what the marriage relationship should be. Matthew Henry put it this way, "Eve was made by God not out of Adam's head to rule over him, nor our of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, from under his arm to be protected and from near his heart to be loved."
THE LORD'S INVENTION (When I speak of the Lord's invention, I am not talking about woman, although that is pretty remarkable. I am referring to the institution of marriage. The Bible constitutes what was the first marriage ceremony. There are three aspects that were involved in that first marriage ceremony that will go a long way in helping our relationships.
Marriage Involves A Response - When Adam awakened out of sleep, the first thing he saw was this brand new, absolutely beautiful, absolutely perfect woman there with him. Adam's response is to say, "Now this is one like me." Quite literally, Adam said, "Yes!" Or, as one great theologian put it, "Hot diggerty!" What Adam meant was that finally here was one that he just did not want to live without. Here was one who was compatible with him, one with whom he could carry out the Lord's directive,
The lesson here is that in any marriage, there must be that element of heart felt love and the sure knowledge that this is THE person God has created just for me. Folks, marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It should be prayed about and strictly observed according to the Lord's commandments. If His Word is ignored, there can be nothing but trouble in the marriage relationship! It involves a response and that response is to say yes to that person that God has picked and prepared just for you.
Marriage has Responsibility -Every married couple has to realize that they have been made one. You are not really a couple, you are a single unit. Declared by God in Heaven to be joined together until death rips you apart. If we really lived with this assurance, it would transform our homes, our churches and our nation! Then, divorce would not be an option, but just like we would spare no expense or effort to save a member of our own body, we would everything in our power to safeguard our marriages
I know this is hard for some of you who have been through divorce. Please do not think that I am without compassion for you, you have a responsibility to your spouse and to the Lord.
Marriage Involves Righteousness - Adam and Eve were naked, but that they were not ashamed in their nudity. This verse simply drives home the truth that the only valid arena for sexual expression is within the marriage relationship. Do not be misled by this world and its twisted definitions of what constitutes sex. In my opinion, one which I think is backed up by the Bible, anything that goes beyond holding hands and a simple kiss is sexual activity and dishonoring to the Lord and demeaning to you and your relationship with another person. It may be old fashioned, but I believe the Lord will bless it! Hebrews 13:4
If you are honest, you would take your marriage and lay it alongside this passage, would your marriage stand as one that was made in paradise? Or, would you have to say that there is some "leaving and cleaving" that needs to take place in our relationship? Is there some activity or pursuit that is coming between you and your spouse? Do you feel that you are one flesh? What I am asking is that husbands and wives take a long hard look at their relationships and then respond together, before the Lord and allow Him to have His way in your marriage. Are there needs in your relationship? Maybe you are married to an unbeliever, why not bring them to Jesus and talk to Him about that need? Maybe the sizzle has begun to fizzle, why not come before the Lord and ask Him to rekindle the flames that once burned passionately. Bring your marriage to Jesus and let Him fix it if it is broken, let Him strengthen it if it is weak and let Him make it even better.
Maybe you’re not even married, but you are concerned about the future and the person you will marry, why not bring that need to the Lord. Singles and singles again, are there areas of your life that need to be brought under the Lord's control this evening? Please understand that God has a plan for everyone here. Part of that plan includes salvation that is a constant for everyone. Beyond that, God has an individual plan for your life.
If we learn nothing else, let's learn how to keep the fires burning at home!